KENNYSBOOKCLUB: The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck

        

Welcome to the May edition of the Kennysbookclub! For people reading my blog for the first time, Kennysbookclub is a monthly post on kennysdiary where I review a book we read together for that month. 

This month’s choice of book was “THE SUBTLE ART OF NOT GIVING A F*CK” by Mark Manson.

First of all, based on personal opinion, I will rate this book a 10 out of 10.

This book is an emotional and personal development book.

Mark has used this book to address how we should focus our worries and energy towards the right things. This book will make you realise that a lot of things you think you’re doing right are actually wrong.

How metrics and values work, and their importance was consistently mentioned in this book. Mark has used this book to inform his readers about the things you can accomplish just by changing your values, priorities and metrics. Since reading this book, I can now say some of the things I place as priorities and think are right, are instead the opposite. Although, some of the things he spoke about was difficult to accept but I knew they were true. If you are someone with shitty values, some examples on how these values can impact your life was also given in this book.

One of the best chapters of this book, is chapter 3 “YOU ARE NOT SPECIAL” In this chapter, Mark was so straight forward and blunt. A lot of books will tell you the things you want to hear. Such as, you are beautiful, you are fantastic, believe in yourself. Etc… but in this book, Mark said you are not special, you are like everyone else. Who sacrifices something in other to have an amazing lifestyle, who have to work to eat, who have to fail and learn from them and you are like everyone else who goes through bad days.

Oh, do you want to have an idea of what successful people do and why they do well in general? It is because they do not give a f*ck about……… well, you will have to go and read the book to find out.

Mark has used this book to inform his readers with reasons and examples why you should be willing to take responsibilities for whatever happens to you. In other for real growth to take place in our life, we must be willing and able to accept we are wrong even if we think we are right.

In today’s society where you are expected to give a f*ck about everything all the time, I will recommend you read this book and have a reason to have a mind of your own.

                                                     Kenny’s takeaway quote

                         “Happiness is a constant work-in-progress” – Mark Manson

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ASK AWAY: Get to know me answers to your questions!

In today’s blog post, I will be answering the top 10 questions i got asked by you guys. whoop! whoop!

Q: are you close to anyone right now ?

A: to be honest, the only people I’m close to right now are my families.

Q: will you describe your self has high maintenance?

A: I wouldn’t say high maintenance but there’re some level of standards I will expect an individual too meet.

Q: how old are you?

A: I’m 23 years old.

Q: do you ever see yourself getting married ?

A: off course I do!!! Matter of fact, I have an Idea of the type of wedding I want.

Q: what’s your ideal type of guy?

A: top 3 (God fearing, ambitious and loyal).

Q: describe yourself in one word ?

A: Ambitious

Q: Any new exciting things you would like to share ?

A: one exciting thing I will like to share is that, In the next few weeks, I will be a GRADUATE!!

Q: A fun fact about you?

A: a fun fact about me is that I have a non-identical twin sister

Q: can you write a post on how to start up a blog?

A: Yes, I am definitely doing this and it’s going to be a paid content.

Q: how many relationships have you had ?

A: This depends on what you classify has a relationship. However, I will say I’ve been in one proper relationship as far as I’m concern lol.

Thank you for your questions!! I will definitely be doing more Q&A in the future.

DO I REALLY ENJOY WRITING?

Since I started my blog, one of the questions I frequently get asked is, “DO YOU REALLY ENJOY WRITING?”

Answer: YES and NO.

NO because, Before I started my blog, I never enjoyed writing. Although, I will still do it if I have too. But I never enjoyed doing it. I mean, I’m the type of person to have my coursework due and even though I know what to do, I still won’t just because it involves writing LOL. 😭

and YES because, since I started my blog, my love for writing has increased. I just randomly get the urge to write even when I don’t have too. Also, my love for reading has positively impacted my writing skills. Now, reading and writing are my top two favourite hobby’s. I hope some day, i am able and privileged enough to write my own book.

PS: in other to own a blog, you don’t have to be the best writer. All you need is the motivation and the rest will fall into place.

INSECURITIES

Don’t get me wrong, I am not an insecure person. However, sometimes I do have some normal level of insecurities that most people tend to have. A big nose, not tall or short enough, too skinny or fat. But then, I am never worried about these things. I do not stay up losing sleep over them or get anxious about it. I was and has always been happy with myself, I see myself in good light, I feel beautiful, pretty and sexy.

It is absolutely normal to have days you don’t feel like yourself or rather days you don’t feel like you can do anything right. Nonetheless, feeling insecure about yourself all the time will only negatively impact every aspect of your life.

There are lot of ways to build up your self-esteem, the first one in my book, is self-love. Learn to love yourself more, spend time with people who loves you, surround yourself with supporting and loving people who makes you feel good about who you are and not who they want you to be.

Criticisms, negative self-image and social media are all part of what causes insecurities. In the book I’m currently reading, THE SUBTLE ART OF NOT GIVING A FU*K, Mark mentioned that “The internet, is an open-sourced insecurity, self-doubt, and shame. However, you should not let any of this make you feel or see yourself differently. You are who you are and nobody can take that away from you.

You are a special person and you should appreciate that. No one else can ever be like you or do things you are capable of doing. Your super power is the fact that you are the only you. I am the only kenny and no one else is ever going to be me or do things I can do.

Do things you love. Read a book, take a walk to the park, learn to bake just do something you love or would love and it will bring you happiness. Associate yourself with the people, things and go to places that makes you feel good and alive. Stop the self hate in jokes disguise. I know of people who self hate on themselves and then end up saying they are only joking. No don’t do that to yourself. DO NOT! Just don’t do it. Jokingly hating on yourself is for people who already consider themselves as losers and doing this will not only make you believe you’re actually a loser, the people around you will also see you as a loser. The question is, why would you want to be seen as a loser? You a beautiful awesome person that means a lot to someone out there ? If you’re favourite joke is about how black you are or how nappy your hair is, then you will really be seen has that.

Our thought becomes our words. Therefore, learn to Think positive thoughts. Manifest positivity, let go of insecurities. No one was born to be insecured.

One of the books I’m currently reading is “YOU ARE A BADASS” and I genuinely would recommend this book to any and everyone. You have to read this book at least once in your lifetime.

Kenny’s Takeaway Quote

“Insecurity kills all that is beautiful” – Demi Lovato.

MOTHERHOOD: First Year of Motherhood

Words by Taiwo Adaba

  I’ve always heard mothers talk about how difficult motherhood was and how your life will never be the same.

The biggest lesson I’ve learnt in the past 13 months as a new mum is that Anaya (My daughter) is her own unique little person, and I won’t always have all the answers. I can be a good mom and do my best without always being able to immediately fix or change everything. I’ve learnt that as a mother, you will always and forever have the natural instinct that you will always stand by your child, love them, and support them.  

There have been times she sleeps throughout the night. However, that didn’t happen regularly until she was 7 months old.  With how difficult things can get, loving Anaya came so easily to us. She falls asleep laying on me or her dad and all was mostly forgotten.

My confidence as a mother grew. My relationship with my daughter felt stronger. And we were able to find our way on this beautiful but somewhat peculiar journey as a young parent together. In all honesty, parenting is a strange and tough journey. And no matter how many friends you talk to or how much advice you receive (solicited or unsolicited), you can’t know until you live it.

                                                        Taiwo’s Takeaway Quote

“There are places in the heart you don’t even know exist until you love a child” – Anne Lamott